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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30049554">Drowning</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thejok3/pseuds/thejok3'>thejok3</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst and Feels, Clay | Dream is Bad at Feelings (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream is So Whipped (Video Blogging RPF), Denial of Feelings, Dreams, Feelings Realization, Flirting, Gay, Gay Panic, Internalized Homophobia, Love Confessions, M/M, Mentioned Patches, Not Beta Read, Pining, Possibly Unrequited Love, Swearing, dreamnotfound, vent - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:40:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,864</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30049554</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thejok3/pseuds/thejok3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dream knows it is a joke. They are just having fun. Him, George, and Sapnap. They are just poking fun at each other. Then George has to go and say something. Something that Dream can't let go.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clay | Dream &amp; GeorgeNotFound &amp; Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my first time using Ao3. Sorry if it isn't the best. I'm still learning how to tag. Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Dream’s practically unlovable, just ask his ex-girlfriend.”<br/>“What.”</p>
<p>Dream knows it is a joke. They are just having fun. Him, George, and Sapnap. They are just poking fun at each other. Then George has to go and say that. It’s not that he’s wrong. There is some merit to that statement. His last relationship ended with him moping around the house all day. But his friends drew him out of that funk. </p>
<p>Now his friend is about to put him in another funk. <br/>“I’m sorry I took it a bit too far.” George apologizes.<br/>“It’s fine… I’m getting tired so I’m gonna go.”<br/>“No wait-” Sapnap pleads.</p>
<p>Dream sits in the resonating silence. Nothing but the blue glow of a computer screen as comfort. The statement itself isn’t what hurt. It’s the fact that George is the one who said it. It felt like Dream was being dragged through the undertow, unable to get up. His words are rushing over him and he can’t breathe. Why? Why does it hurt so much that George critiqued his love life? This isn’t like Dream. To trouble over what someone said even though they are teasing. Plus it’s George. He wouldn’t hurt him. Right?</p>
<p>“Hello?” </p>
<p>“Dream! I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to overstep. I understand if you are mad at me and hate me and never want to talk to me again and-” <br/>George thinks Dream hates him.</p>
<p>“Woah Woah Woah. Calm down. I’m not mad. It’s honestly fine. It just brought up some rough memories. That’s all.” </p>
<p>“Are you sure? I feel like you are mad at me.” <br/>Dream could never be mad at him.</p>
<p>“I’m sure George. I’ll be ok.” <br/>Liar.</p>
<p>“Ok. Well, I will let you go to sleep then. It’s probably late over there anyways. Goodnight Dream.”</p>
<p>“Goodnight George.”</p>
<p>Dream lets out a sigh. How could he think that George would ever want to hurt him? Now George thinks he hates him. That very notion makes Dream’s chest feel heavy. A new thought arises:</p>
<p>What else does George take to heart?</p>
<p>Suddenly their friendly banter sounds a lot harsher in his head. All the jokes, teasing, flirting. It’s too much. He’s analyzing every word spoken. If George could see Dream now. He would probably say he is overreacting, yet Dream can’t stop. And that’s how he falls asleep. With nothing but George, his best friend, on his mind. </p>
<p>Dream wakes up to a soft, yet constant buzz from his phone. Groaning, he checks what is wrong. </p>
<p>DNF Fight<br/>Dream’s Mad<br/>George Screwed Up<br/>End of the Dream Team???</p>
<p>Dream spares himself the headache and puts his phone down. However, he sees a text from George.<br/>“How do you want to address this?”<br/>Dream texts back “I’ll stream later today and you can join. Everyone will assume we settled it will calm down.” <br/>He sees a thumbs-up. </p>
<p>Dream starts getting dressed. There is a buzz under his skin. Every time he thinks of streaming with George, it flares. He’s glad George isn’t mad? Scared? Hurt? He isn’t quite sure. But Dream’s glad that they are back to normal again. </p>
<p>He sits down at his computer and starts the stream.<br/>“Hey guys! We are just gonna have a chill Minecraft stream today. I will be joined by a friend in just a minute.”</p>
<p>“Hello?” Dream’s heart skips a beat. There he is. His voice is the feeling of cold water on a hot summer’s day. Yet it sends fire throughout Dream’s veins. </p>
<p>“Hey George. Are you ready?”</p>
<p>“Absolutely.”</p>
<p>They were having a good time. It seems like the plan worked. Everyone in the chat finally let the conversation go after a while. Then George brought up something interesting.</p>
<p>“You know I was scrolling through my for you page the other day.” </p>
<p>“Oh yes, I’ve heard all about your TikTok.” Dream chuckles.</p>
<p>“Haha. Well, anyways I saw this trend. It was asking your best friend one warning they wish they knew before they met you.”</p>
<p>Dream’s never really thought about that before. What is a good warning about his friend? Maybe how George makes him rethink every word. Maybe how his first and last coherent thought each day is about George. Maybe it’s not being able to see him in person. Maybe it’s the taunting flirting that makes him feel fuzzy. Or the endless yearning to hear him after a stream ends. </p>
<p>“Dream?” George asks, bringing Dream back to the present. <br/>“Gosh, where do I begin.” Dream laughs. </p>
<p>“What?” <br/>Shit<br/>“Wait no, that’s not-”<br/>“It’s fine. I’m just gonna go.”</p>
<p>Fuck. He royally screwed up. Dream feels a strong sense of deja vu. Even the same heavy feeling in his gut is there. He didn’t mean it like that. It’s just that George is too much for him in every best way possible. That heavy feeling surges when he remembers how angry George must be. For real this time. It feels like there is a hum in his skin. It says to run, to cry, to apologize. It enters into his bloodstream. Every inch of his body is trembling. <br/>Dream ends the stream early to immediately call George. He tries calling him. </p>
<p>“C’mon, c’mon!”<br/>“Hello, you have reached-”<br/>Dammit.<br/>He tried again. And again. After the third try, he finally hears the tell-tale click of someone picking up.</p>
<p>“What do you want?” </p>
<p>Dream’s heart immediately feels lighter and breaks at the same time. Relief floods his system once he hears George pick up. Still, it doesn’t last long. The shakiness in George’s voice sends a stabbing icy pain straight through his heart. </p>
<p>“Did you call me to say everything wrong with me? Describe every imperfection. List all the reasons you hate me like I don’t know it already.” <br/>Dream hears a sob from the other end of the phone.</p>
<p>“No! No I promise I don’t hate you. I’m so so sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”</p>
<p>“How else do you take that? ‘Where to begin?’ Is there that much wrong with me?”</p>
<p>“I said that because you mean so much to me. You mean the world to me, George. You are so kind, and so funny that you make me cry of laughter, and beautiful. You think I hate it when you talk? That’s so far from the truth. Every word that leaves your mouth I hang onto like a lifeline. I just wish I knew how much you would end up meaning to me. I wish I had a warning on how much I would need you.” </p>
<p>“R-really?”</p>
<p>“Of course George. You are my sun. Evaporating all the sadness in my heart. You are my rock to ground me when I’m too stressed out. You are my best friend George. You mean everything to me.”</p>
<p>“Wow. I-uh don’t know what to say Dream. I’m sorry I overreacted.” </p>
<p>No, it’s my fault. I just wanted to clear everything up. Sorry about that. I’ll umm go now. Bye.”</p>
<p>“Bye.”</p>
<p>That was terrible. Dream never wants to go through that again. How could George mistake his love for hate?</p>
<p>Wait.<br/>Love?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Tides of the Ocean</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dream is an idiot.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey guys! Hope you are enjoying. Again, this is my first fic so I'm still treading the waters.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Wait.<br/>
Love?<br/>
Does Dream love George? </p><p>No no no. They are just friends. Do friends flirt with each other? Do friends want the flirting to be real? Dream is hit with the realization that he is an idiot. An idiot who has been blindly in love with his best friend. </p><p>But that can’t be right. George is, well, a guy. Yeah, he’s friends with people like that but, the thought of him being gay. That can’t be true. But the more he thinks about it, the more it feels right. </p><p>Imagining him and George being together. It’s like a dream come true. Watching tv and cuddling on the couch, while he falls asleep on Dream’s chest. Taking care of him when George refuses to take care of himself. Being there in person, worrying about him. Kissing his lips. The ones that look oh so soft. Finally being able to feel the inside of his mouth where he is constantly chewing his cheek. Being able to decide for himself what is so tantalizing about it. Dream yearns to feast upon his pale neck, leaving little love bites all over. Hearing George’s breath hitch and release with a noise of delight. He wants to leave bruises all over his pale skin. He wants George under him. </p><p>Ok so maybe he is gay.<br/>
That doesn’t mean George is. Dream knows he at least supports it. But still.<br/>
It’s all too much right now. It’s been a long day. Dream decides to deal with this later. He gets a cold shower and heads to bed. </p><p>“C’mere Clay.”<br/>
“What?”<br/>
“Come cuddle with me.”<br/>
Dream gives him a deadpan stare. He has so much to do today.<br/>
“Please...”<br/>
How could he resist those puppy dog eyes?<br/>
“Fine George. Scoot over.”<br/>
Dream wishes this could actually be real. Wait. What? </p><p>He jolts up. Only a dream. George has been infiltrating his dreams for the past week. It’s driving him crazy. His subconscious is taunting him. Every time he reaches out for a breath, he is pulled right back under the tides. </p><p>After many restless nights and some suspiciously long showers, Dream accepts that he likes men. Specifically George. But he can’t help and wonder if George does too. He knows deep down that it will never happen. And his dreams are not helping him cope with that. </p><p>It hurts. It hurts so much. Dream love George so much it hurts. Some part of him still feels like he’s not allowed to. But he needs it. He is as addictive as alcohol. Every word spoken is sweet yet a bitter reminder of what he can’t have. Dream wants to hold him. To hug him and cuddle. To kiss him. To show him his love until he is drowning in it. But he can’t have it. </p><p>George stole his heart away. It is his for the keeping. Yet he doesn’t know it. All he did was exist. George stole his heart and broke it without even realizing it. Pathetic isn’t it. How does one break something that was never given in the first place? </p><p>And it hurts. But Dream will go through any pain for George. As long as he is happy. That is all he can ask for really. </p><p>Dream finally addresses the stream that happened a couple days ago. He ends up scrolling through his Youtube, Twitter, camera roll, anything. He is searching for a distraction. Yet they all lead to him. Some part of him has accepted that George will never be with him. He copes with his imagination.</p><p>Dream doesn’t think he will love anyone else like this though. His heart doesn’t have enough room for anyone else. It’s just him. It’s always him. Even if George’s heart leads him somewhere else. Dream will be there to support him because George has given him life. A future with him seems like one worth waiting for. Life seems more bearable with him around. </p><p>Suddenly a notification from George appears.<br/>
“I see you replying to all my tweets. Stalking me now? Seems like you like me or something lol.”<br/>
Dreams breath hitches. Yes. He does. He can’t get George out of his head. </p><p>“Maybe I do.”<br/>
What is he thinking? Why did he just send that? Shit. He sees George typing. </p><p>“Oh really? Maybe I do too.”</p><p>“Jk” </p><p>No. Stop. Please stop. Don’t give him hope. He wants hope. It feels like one big game but Dream is the only player. George is toying with him and the best part is, he doesn’t even know it. He is just a toy and George pulls all his strings in the most perfect ways. </p><p>It’s infuriating. How could George mess him up this bad? He’s fallen so hard there is no way up. George is stuck in his mind on loop. He is in his daydreams and nightmares. He is in every breath Dream takes. Loneliness is his shadow. Wanting is his reflection. Yet there is hope in every footstep. </p><p>“Lol” </p><p>It’s been almost a month now. </p><p>Dream’s love has all but grown. He wants to see George in person. Next to him. He wants to hold his hand, his face, anything. Every time he streams with George, he is reminded of what he can’t have. It’s so hard. Dream wants to talk to George 24/7. He wants to stream with George more than anyone. Yet he wants to avoid him completely. He wants to avoid the hurt. </p><p>However the love outweighs the fear. Every time they talk, Dream’s chest blooms with complete adoration of this man. This man who is his everything and yet, has to make sure every now and then that Dream isn’t mad at him. How could you mistake his love for anger? For hate? This baffles Dream. He doesn’t understand what goes through George’s head but he wants to. </p><p>Speaking of the devil, George just asked him to stream. It’s been a while and he can’t wait. His foot taps resonate throughout his room as the computer loads. Finally, everything boots up and he is joining the stream. </p><p>“Hey Dream!”<br/>
“Hello George!”</p><p>The stream goes as planned. But that is what he said the last two times a stream has messed up. You know what they say, third time’s the charm. </p><p>“Dream. You would drown in my very presence.” </p><p>That’s the tipping point. He can’t do this. It’s too much. He needs him too bad.<br/>
“And I would never come up for air.” </p><p>It just spills out. He doesn’t mean to say it. But it's all true. The sincerity in his voice proves it.</p><p>“Heh-what?” </p><p>“You said I would drown in you and you're right. I would get so lost in you my lips would turn blue. You would take the air from my lungs. I would lose myself in your presence.” </p><p>“Uhh..”</p><p>“Haha can’t take the heat George? C’mon it was just a joke. Well I’m gonna go. I’m running out of steam and I think I forgot to feed Patches. See-ya!”</p><p>He’s such an idiot. Why did he do that? Now George probably hates him. All of the internet is going to flip. Dream is in such deep shit. </p><p>Dream comes to his senses on a soft pillow. He doesn’t even remember climbing in bed. In fact, he doesn’t remember the majority of what happened yesterday. Not until he looks at his phone. Thousands of notifications flood his screen. The main ones he is concerned with are that of a certain man. </p><p>10 missed calls.<br/>
100+ text messages.<br/>
50+ Discord notifications.</p><p>Uh oh.</p><p>Dream tries to ignore him. He gets a shower, does some chores, feeds patches. None of it was successful. His mind is brought back to the british man that has stolen his heart. Finally, he gives in and calls him. </p><p>“Hello?” Dream says tentatively. </p><p>“DREAM! Where have you been? I’ve been trying to get to you for hours.”</p><p>“Sorry I’ve just been uh, busy.”</p><p>“We both know that isn’t true.” George sighs.<br/>
Dream lets out a breath of resignation. George knows him too well. Is this it? The end of a friendship? Maybe. Will Dream regret admitting everything? No. Not for one second.</p><p>“I want to talk about the stream.”</p><p>“Yes. I feel like you are not telling me something.”</p><p>“George, I meant every word I said. I would drown in you. You are already pulling me under.”</p><p>“What does that mean exactly?”</p><p>Dreams hands are shaking. He can’t breath. It’s terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time. </p><p>“George I love you.”<br/>
“What?”</p><p>“I love you. Like more than a friend. I love you so much it hurts. It hurts when you talk bad about yourself. It hurts when you think I could hate you. It hurts to not be able to see you, here, in person. It hurts that you aren’t able to see how much I love you.” </p><p>Dream waits and anticipates yelling at best. His chest feels lighter. His shoulders are free. Yet his heart constricts and pulse quickens. </p><p>“Wow. I-I had no idea. I might feel the same.”</p><p>Dream’s head whips up. A buzz shoots through his veins. He is drowning, yet he sees the surface.<br/>
“What?”</p><p>“Don’t get your hopes up. I’m not sure. It’s just, I have a hard time differentiating romantic and platonic feelings. I know there is something there, I’m just trying to figure out what.” </p><p>George isn’t mad. He isn’t yelling at him, or crying, or making fun of him. George might love him too. Dream feels his hand break the water’s surface. There is another hand there, waiting to grab him. He can’t breathe yet. But he can see the surface.</p><p>“Take as long as you need. You don’t have to reciprocate- although it would be great if you did. I just want you to know you are loved. You think yourself to be some unlovable monster. But you are so loved. You mean so much to me. No matter what, I will always be there.” </p><p>“Thank you Dream.”</p><p>“Goodbye. Love you.”</p><p>Dream hears the faint crashing of waves in the distance.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is the end! This fic was a bit of a vent for me than anything. So I hope y'all enjoyed!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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